Potential Whatever

Potential Whatever (pō•tĕn•shăl hwŏt•ěv´er): a phrase used to describe an individual who won’t make the final cut.

The foretelling of a Potential Whatever comes from that gut feeling we sometimes get. It’s when we know that the relationship we’re in won’t make it through the calendar year. Basically, it’s when the person you’re dating has the potential to wind up in near imminent conversations in this manner:

Your friend: “So how’s insert Potential Whatever’s name here?”
You: “Who?”
Your friend: “You know, PW’s name goes here again.”
You: “Who?” (By now you are rolling your eyes.)

Everyone’s harbored a PW at one time or another. What makes us hold on to them for so long? Wrong as it may sound, they generally tend to have a good shelf life. These temporary products consume your time for the moment providing that quick fix when you need it. The problem with indulging in a Potential Whatever is the fact that they have to expire. The fun runs out, your patience runs out, you stop dreaming and reality steps in. You get to the point where nothing they say, do, or have is going to make them worthy in your eyes. Now the only potential they’ve got going on is the potential to make you sick.

Maybe you were the one who started the relationship and now you feel like being the one to end it would be unkind. Even so, staying in a relationship that you’ve come to realize has reached its expiration date makes you the user in the union. Yeah, I said user. Knowingly walking into or staying in a relationship with a PW based selfishness and a wanton attempt at trying to fulfill your own desires makes you the user. There are consequences in staying the course in this type of relationship. The trappings in this course of action occur when the PW catches on to their own sure demise and that’s when they become Masters of relationship manipulation.
When a PW catches wind of your knowledge of them possessing a ‘good thru’ date, to stay in the game they need to divert your attention elsewhere with Vegas-style illusions. The PW has no intention of bailing out on you so they’re not about to make it easy for you to send them to the place where products go to die. Their showy display of exploitation comes in varying types of poison. I’ll just list the deadliest concoctions:

The Skillfully Planned Unreturned Phone Call - You will try to end it an in environment that is safe for you - the less damage the better. No pieces to pick up-just a phone to hang up. But the PW is clever, they have more experience in ditching the blows. T here’s no way they’re going to let you catch them on the phone. Therein lies the bait; more than likely, no one has ever ignored you so expertly. This move is delivered to spur you on to frenzies of unparalleled proportions even if you’re hesitant to say it out loud. It’s the old way of making you want what you can’t have. Somehow you are coerced into believing their hype. Before you know it you’ll start thinking that perhaps you were about to make a horrible mistake by letting them get away.

The Catch Lines - “I really wanted you to get to know the real me.”
It’s a thought planted and left to linger, arousing and stimulating the brain into thinking that they are a viable option for future appearances. They become literal thieves of your mind and time-casually alluding to having personality, persona, dreams, and goals. Words pour out of their mouths slowly, drizzling like honey over your reasoning only serve to disguise their real agenda here – survival.

They’ll play on your sympathy claiming to need help and protection from the harsh world, pretending to be scalded, scarred, and trumped in the tragic burden that is their life - and you’ll fall for it if you're not careful. Trust me, it's not worth it, over time they slowly revert to what they were before. The gauze will fall from your eyes to reveal the same PW you were trying to rid yourself of in the beginning.

But don’t go back! This burden of being with the wrong person will wear on you, cause you to start canceling dates, lack the ability to communicate, notice nothing substantial about your life anymore, think that the phrase "it’s better to give than receive" only applies to you. If that happens you'll become the damaged goods and the PW will tire of you and start making eyes with other people in your presence, start introducing you as a friend, talk to you one minute and ignore you the next, make flirting without ever soulfully committing to someone a sport. You can take a breath now. You will wind up being dumped by the PW instead of the other way around.

If what I’ve said here sounds strangely familiar, then come on! Let them go. A person’s flaws should be ones that you finally don’t think you need a Band-Aid for, because if you’re trying to bandage them they’re sure to be your “Potential Whatever”.