Thursday, May 14

Interview With A Guy: What Type of Panty are You?

I was having drinks with a guy friend, we were discussing bad pick up lines when he told me he had on question he asks all the women he hits on. I immediately thought it to be one of the most ridiculous come ons I'd heard of yet– that is until his explanation started to sound plausible. It’s more of a question really, one he uses to find out what type of girl you are personality wise, from there he decides whether or not you’re going to be his one night stand, or his one true love. But you read on and see how accurate you think this testosterone fueled tea leave reading really is….

Guy: It’s my icebreaker question. If you had to pick a panty to describe yourself, which would it be? Each type of underwear represents a different type of woman. Your choices are: boxer, white cotton, thong, Victoria’s Secret, or granny panties.

Politic’s Chick: If she chooses boxers, what's she saying?

Guy: Your boxer chick is the more masculine, athletic type. Nine times out of ten, she may run a bit on the lesbian side but not really know that about herself yet.

Politic’s Chick: Ok, what about your white cotton panties?

Guy: White cotton are females that aren’t really worried about getting a man, probably because they’ve already got a man; they’re content.

Politic’s Chick: What happens if she says she is all of these panties? Every girl has a different panty for a different mood.

Guy: True, each chick has at least one of each, but each woman generally leans toward one particular type.

Politic’s Chick: So what your really asking is, ‘What type of panty do you wear more often?’.

Guy: Right.

Politic’s Chick: What if she's a thong kind of girl

Guy: Oh, she’s your looser girl. Nine times out of then, I have a good chance of getting with her on the first night. Thong girls are really into themselves, they feel sexy all the time.

Politic’s Chick: Do they carry condoms?

Guy: Again…nine times out of ten.

Politic’s Chick: Ok, on to the granny panty girls.

Guy: Granny panty girls, sad to say are your more lackadaisical, lazy, couldn’t care either way. This girl doesn't feel comfortable with her body.

Politic’s Chick: I hate to ask, but is she a certain weight?

Guy: Its’ not a weight thing. It could be that she’s lacking self confidence and that’s why she doesn’t have the sex appeal. If you don't feel it, we won't either.

Politic’s Chick: How does the Victoria’s Secret girl differ from the thong girl?

Guy: The thong girl thinks she is sexy and she wants you to know it, she oozes sex appeal when she steps into the room whereas the Victoria’s Secret girl feels sexy on the inside. Victoria’s secret is more content in her sexuality. One thing we notice is that older women walk around like they’ve been sexy all their lives, you can see her confidence in her sexuality because of the way she handles it, younger girls however are just realizing that their cute, their still feeling themselves out.

Politic’s Chick: But do they both wear the same panties?

Guy: No. The younger one will walk around in the thong because she just realized she is sexy and she thinks she’s bigger than the system. But your older woman goes to Victoria’s Secret to compliment the sexy she already possesses for herself, not for you.

Politic’s Chick: Any combination that doesn’t go together?

Guy: I know what combination doesn’t work for me.

Politic’s Chick: (laughter) and what’s that?

Guy: Granny panties/boxers. You can keep them!

Politic’s Chick: What type of panty do you think I am?

Guy: I’d have to say…hybrid white cotton panty.

Politic’s Chick: What’s a hybrid girl like?

Guy: They wear the nicer styles, they just jumped out of the Hanes her way, you’re trying to heat it up…but you are still the good girls at the core.

Politic’s Chick: (insert eye-rolling) Let’s have it on record – what type of panty do you prefer?

Guy: Actually I like an assortment, but I’ll take that Victoria’s chick any day!

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