Wednesday, May 6

The Un Married

I'm befuddled as to why some women feel the need to caress my back in that "oh, I'm so sorry for you lost" way when I say that I'm not married. Or why they follow that up with a sigh when I answer, "No, I don't have any children either".

Why the pitiful look? Am I supposed to be ashamed of this, or feel like a failure because I'm not attached to anyone?

I ran into a old friend from school the other day and as we were catching up I find out that she's been married for almost seven years, has four kids and a great hubby all packed away in a huge house in a tiny suburb in PA. She rattled on about how unfulfilling single life is and how part of being an adult was accepting these mature responsibilities. I got curious about what this life of hers looked like so I checked her out on Facebook and there they were, mountains of pics of her baby showers, her wedding, and family vacations. For a second I started to wonder 'what had I been doing since college'? And as my pity party was about to collapse in on me, another girlfriend called and we couldn't get in 5 minutes worth of conversation before she was hollering at her kids - they sounded like they were running around her apartment like banshees. Once she walked out of the kids room to hear better she started in on her husband, the bills, the lack of sleep, etc... Suddenly I started remember whats so good about my life and rationalization behind my choices.
I absolutely love doing things my way, when I want, and how I want. My money is mine, my time is mine and I'll be ready to give that up when I'm confident that I won't regret having done it.

For the future ladies reaching out to stroke my un married pain away - if you think that the new accessories are husbands, kids, family pets, and houses in the burbs that's ok. But my freedom is my shiny new bauble and anytime its starts getting dull and I bump into one of you and succumb to thinking for one second that I'm missing out on something I'm gonna hurry and shine it right back up.

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